To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
~Brian M. Porter, 1998

I wish life had an Undo function. ~Author Unknown

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it. ~Author Unknown

In the old days, people robbed stagecoaches and knocked off armored trucks. Now they're knocking off servers. ~Richard Power

Mac users swear by their computers. PC users swear at their computers. ~Author Unknown

I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: "Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end." ~Douglas Adams

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. ~Werner von Braun

Microsoft, where quality is job 1.1. ~Author Unknown

Software is slowing faster than hardware is accelerating. ~Martin Reiser, quoted by Nicklaus Wirth, 1995, which spawned "Grove giveth, and Gates taketh away," author unknown, referring to CEOs of Intel and Microsoft

Some people can hack it, others can't. ~Author Unknown

The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad! ~Richard Feynman

Unix was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that would also stop you from doing clever things. ~Doug Gwyn

Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity. ~Dennis Ritchie

Unix never says "please." ~Rob Pike

The Unix philosophy basically involves giving you just enough rope to hang yourself. And then a couple of feet more, just to be sure. ~Author Unknown

Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result. ~Alan Turing, about computers

What boots up must come down. ~Author Unknown

Windows is just DOS in drag. ~Author Unknown

Computers must be female. No one but the creator understands their internal logic. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. ~Author Unknown

Computers must be male. As soon as you commit to one you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the day. ~Author Unknown

What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator.
~Anon.

Who's General Failure and why's he reading my disk?
-Anon.

The Next Computer: The hardware makes it a PC, the software makes it a workstation, the unit sales makes it a mainframe.
-Anon.

Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.
-Anon.

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
-Anon.

Intel has announced its next chip: the Repentium.
-Anon.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
-Anon.

All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
-Anon.

Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out a window.
-Anon.

If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...?
-Anon.

At the dictation of a mathematician, it will solve in a matter of hours equations never before solved because of their intricacy and the enormous time and personnel which would be required to work them out on ordinary office calculators.
-Anon., New York Times, 1944

Where the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 1/2 tons.
-Anon., "Popular Mechanics", March, 1949