Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. ~Doug Larson

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in. ~Author Unknown

The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back. ~Author Unknown

Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. ~Author Unknown

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. ~Farmer's Almanac, 1978

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. ~Clifford Stoll

User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean "idiot." ~Dave Barry

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. ~Edsger W. Dijkstra

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. ~Joseph Campbell

Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living. ~Nicholas Negroponte

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
~David Dixon

Computers, huh? I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys. ~ the television show King of Queens, spoken by the character Doug Heffernan

After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy. ~John Pierce

Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is. ~Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top

But they are useless. They can only give you answers. ~Pablo Picasso, about computers

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. ~Author Unknown

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
~Suzie Wagner, 1998

As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws. ~Scott Adams ("Dogbert")

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. ~Scott Adams

Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes. ~Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. ~Mitch Ratcliffe

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? ~Author Unknown

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. ~Andy Rooney

Don't anthropomorphize computers - they hate it. ~Author Unknown

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. ~Jeff Pesis

I haven't lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere. ~Author Unknown

I just wish my mouth had a backspace key. ~Author Unknown

Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working. ~Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin. ~Robert A. Heinlein

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. ~One of Murphy's Laws of Technology

A picture is worth a thousand words but it takes 3,000 times the disk space. ~Author Unknown

Rebooting is a wonder drug - it fixes almost everything. ~Garrett Hazel, "Help Desk Blues," 2002

Jesus saves! The rest of us better make backups. ~Author Unknown
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